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gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1100 on: December 31, 2018, 06:19:09 PM »
My 2019 New Year gift to the Forum - a fantastic discovery, the autobiography of President Trump's childhood.

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/58566/58566-h/58566-h.htm

The Project Gutenberg eBook, Travels and Adventures of Little Baron Trump
 and His Wonderful Dog Bulger

Short account of one of the little Baron’s most celebrated ancestors, called “The Armless Knight.” His wonderful strength and bravery. How he followed Cœur de Lion to the Orient. His brilliant exploits on the battle-field, under the walls of Joppa. His marriage in the presence of Saladin and Cœur de Lion.

"I come from one of the most ancient and honorable families of North Germany—famous for its valor and love of adventure.

One of my ancestors, when just entering the twenties heard at his father’s table one morning, that England’s great King Cœur de Lion was about to lead an army against the infidels."[/size]

and so on and on and on .................................... - for example

CHAPTER III.
My birth. The elder Baron reads my horoscope. Birth of Bulger. The elder Baron puts on mud-shoes and goes out for a walk. What he discovers. My wonderful precocity. My love for Bulger. My terrible fall into the lake of mud. How the Melodious Sneezers in their mud-shoes attempted to rescue me. Their failure. Bulger comes to their assistance. How I was dug out and restored to my mother. Remarkable effect of the warm mud on my head and brain. The Melodious Sneezers are afraid of me. My fondness for arithmetic and languages. Our farewell to the Melodious Sneezers, and return home. How I discharged my tutors, and how the elder Baron forced them to pay for the instruction I had given them.
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

RealityCheck

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1101 on: December 31, 2018, 08:53:46 PM »
Happy New Year, G.
There's more than a little of Monty Python in your recommendation, I suspect! Except it's happening in real life...
'The parrot's not dead, it's only asleep!'
Thanks for your (almost) daily data updates, insights, and humour through the past year. I look forward to more 'theories that belong to me'... :)
RC
Sic transit gloria mundi

be cause

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1102 on: December 31, 2018, 10:21:13 PM »
^^ seconded ^^ :) b.c.
2007 + 5 = 2012 + 4 = 2016 + 3 = 2019 ...

gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1103 on: January 01, 2019, 03:33:52 AM »
Happy New Year, G.
There's more than a little of Monty Python in your recommendation, I suspect! Except it's happening in real life...
'The parrot's not dead, it's only asleep!'

I suspect that Monty Python owes a debt to Baron Trump, Copyright, 1889, BY INGERSOLL LOCKWOOD.
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

Sebastian Jones

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1104 on: January 01, 2019, 07:32:56 AM »

[/quote]
I suspect that Monty Python owes a debt to Baron Trump, Copyright, 1889, BY INGERSOLL LOCKWOOD.
[/quote]
What an amazing find!!!
Either somebody has put in a tremendous amount of time and effort producing a satire, or truth really is strange than fiction!
Baron Trump...It's too much!

pikaia

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1105 on: January 01, 2019, 02:37:01 PM »

Martin Gisser

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1106 on: February 01, 2019, 03:00:06 PM »
...

kassy

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1107 on: February 02, 2019, 05:22:38 PM »
That´s a pretty powerful picture, thanks!

vox_mundi

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1108 on: February 14, 2019, 02:33:54 AM »
“There are three classes of people: those who see. Those who see when they are shown. Those who do not see.” ― Leonardo da Vinci

Insensible before the wave so soon released by callous fate. Affected most, they understand the least, and understanding, when it comes, invariably arrives too late

gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1109 on: February 15, 2019, 01:02:36 PM »
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/feb/15/this-is-literally-the-biggest-news-story-in-the-world

This is literally the biggest news story in the world
First Dog on the Moon

It is with deep regret Brenda the Civil Disobedience penguin must inform you:
this is it folks, it’s over


Note how First Dog gets it right - Climate Change is the coup de grâce that finishes the job of extermination of the web of life.
__________________________________________________________________________
Borrowed directly from French and first appearing in English at the end of the 17th century, "coup de grâce" (literally, a "stroke of grace" or "blow of mercy") originally referred to a mercy killing, or the act of putting to death a person or animal who was severely injured and unlikely to recover.
___________________________________________________________________________
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1110 on: February 18, 2019, 04:14:23 PM »
YouTube aids flat earth conspiracy theorists, research suggests

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-47279253
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

Tom_Mazanec

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1111 on: April 25, 2019, 01:40:39 PM »
Well, the dodo has a point, but then who is going to teach the course?
Thursday, April 25, 2019
https://comicskingdom.com/safe-havens/archive
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Steven

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1113 on: April 29, 2019, 08:22:20 PM »
https://twitter.com/Sustainable2050/status/1122727213168779266

"Climate change has two causes: human activity and human inactivity"



gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1114 on: May 31, 2019, 10:55:21 PM »
Sent to me from New Zealand
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1115 on: June 01, 2019, 06:18:12 PM »
The Guardian have 2 political writers who enjoy putting the boot into the inaqequated who run politics in Westmister, one of whom is Marina Hyde. She is refreshingly vicious, with good reason.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/may/31/opium-drone-no-deal-tory-battle-conservative-leadership-race
Opium-pipers, bluffers and no-dealers impress in this Tory battle of nonentities
Marina Hyde

Quote
The official tagline for the Tory leadership contest is “EXPERIENCE MAGIC THIS SUMMER”. Its key value divide is between candidates who would smoke opium at an Iranian wedding, and candidates who would order a drone strike on one. We haven’t even begun to hear from frontrunner Boris Johnson, that flytipped sofa, who will probably be endorsed next week by visiting indignitary Donald Trump.

Still, plenty to be getting on with. Esther McVey would order you a drone strike, no problem. The only issue is whether she’d be able to get all the gays in one place. This week, Esther waded into the grimly regressive row about LGBT teaching, suggesting that parents should have the right to deny their children educational access to reality (I’m paraphrasing). As she put it: “I believe parents know best for their children.” Yes babe! That’s why measles is back. That’s why you personally defend the refusal to pay a mother benefits for her third child unless she can prove she was raped.

McVey joins every other Tory candidate in promising to “deliver Brexit”, even though it’s a parcel 30 times bigger than Britain’s letterbox. Esther’s full no-deal, naturally, while Sajid Javid … well, The Saj has bravely refused to reveal any spoilers about his thinking on Brexit.

Or perhaps you prefer the look of Dominic Raab? For reference, that look is “white-collar guy who’s never done anything wrong in his life before this. You have to believe him, he was just trying to keep her quiet – OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THERE’S SO MUCH BLOOD – OK, keep calm, keep calm. Panic’s how they’re going to get you. There’s that bit of copse past the golf club …” And so on. Dan Stevens stars.

As for Jeremy Hunt, I do enjoy the way Jeremy talks about his previous business running an educational courses database as though it were the East India Company or something. “Doing deals is my bread and butter,” he Andrew Carnegie-d this week. “I’ve taken risks, I’ve employed people. You have to do deals the whole time.” Deals Jeremy has struck with the taxpayer include claiming 27p for a 900m car journey, and repaying £9,500 for second home expenses. You win some, you lose some. Still, I’m looking forward to the bit in early July, if the field is whittled down as expected, where I find myself whispering, “Maybe … maybe Hunt’s not the worst?” at my reflection in a bathroom mirror, which I will then punch into a thousand pieces. Michael Gove … ? I can’t. I just can’t. Maybe next week.

Across all candidates there is an absolute refusal to admit Brexit is a mass Tory sex game that’s gone badly wrong. See modernity’s Matt Hancock, who this week attempted to attack Boris Johnson with the words: “To the people who say ‘fuck business’, I say fuck fuck business.” Gut response to this is: life, no parole. But for those who believe Matt’s crime should be in some way understood, this grammatical construction is known as the “double fuckative”. Contrary to assumption, there are policy positions beyond it – for instance “fuck the fucker of fuck business”, and “fuck fucking the fucker of fuck business”. Don’t ask what they mean – just let them mist you like three fragrant sprays of Matt by Matt Hancock.

After all, this is an election where shooting a selfie video makes you some Tomorrow Man who’s just landed in a whirlybird from the future. In my particular filter bubble, this tactic has helped make Rory Stewart everyone’s favourite outsider. He is certainly to be commended for an absolute refusal to admit that the target voter in this particular election is a 73-year-old woman from Beaconsfield who wants to bring back hanging and describes Aids as “nature’s way”.

That said, the Tory membership are easily sophisticated enough to get that there are two kinds of class A drugs: the ones you take out of politeness 14 years before being appointed prisons minister, and the ones that get you sent to prison, where they’re just as easy to get hold of, unlike any sort of a job once you get out. Make sure you take the right kind, kids! Also, please don’t expect us to have a grownup drugs policy ever. That’s one of the many, many things we’re leaving to your generation to sort out, while we wank on about sovereignty and the Blitz.

Meanwhile, on with the show, with viewers asked to accept increasingly ridiculous plot developments. On Thursday, this was a person called “Mark Harper” claiming to have been chief whip under David Cameron. I mean, maybe??? Mark joins a slew of candidates who might as well have been living in witness protection, who are now suggesting their anonymity makes them the perfect cleanskin to get us out of this mess.

In similar vein, The Malthouse Ultimatum has also entered the fray. Leadership pitch: “You may know me from the compromise I named after myself.” Or as Kit prefers it of his momentarily-coalesced-around fantasy that had already been unequivocally pre-rejected by the EU: “Many commentators said it was the first time in 45 years that the Conservative party had been so united on Europe.” Remind us: how’s that looking now?

Ultimately, the intractable problems of Brexit mean anyone claiming to be “untainted” will be tainted by actual reality within minutes of acceding to the job. A “new face” is going to solve the Tory party’s underlying problems about as much as a “new face” used to solve Michael Jackson’s underlying problems.
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1116 on: June 03, 2019, 11:14:11 AM »
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1117 on: June 04, 2019, 08:36:05 PM »
Recycling by the informal sector...

A criminal case has been launched in Russia's Arctic region of Murmansk after suspected metal thieves made off with a railway bridge.
Quote
Local prosecutors say the unknown perpetrators removed a metal structure 23m long and weighing 56 tonnes from the bridge - its main central span.

The disused bridge is located in a remote forest near the abandoned settlement of Oktyabrskaya, around 170km (100 miles) south of the regional capital, Murmansk.

Luckily, the bridge was disused and the tracks lifted long ago, according to state newspaper Rossiskaya Gazeta.

The railway over the bridge was once used to transport concentrated rare earth elements from a nearby plant, but was closed when the business went bankrupt in 2007, the daily said.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-48517926?intlink_from_url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science_and_environment&link_location=live-reporting-story
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

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Steven

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1119 on: June 08, 2019, 08:30:29 PM »
Tucker Carlson: "the global tyranny of the metric system"



https://youtu.be/1cPeZLCVWTw?t=1

gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1120 on: June 08, 2019, 08:48:17 PM »
And it comes from France - in 1791 after the French Revolution. It's a Socialist Artifact

The “mètre étalon” is a small shelf of marble installed beneath the arcade at 36, rue Vaugirard, right across from the Senate at the Palais du Luxembourg. It’s one of 16 that were installed after, on March 26, 1791, the Académie des Sciences defined the meter for the first time. The only other to survive is at 13, de la Place Vendôme, although unlike the Vaugirard meter it’s been moved from its original location.

The Standard Meter. The French originated the meter in the 1790s as one/ten-millionth of the distance from the equator to the north pole along a meridian through Paris. ... The U. S. Congress legalized the use of the metric system in 1866 on the basis that one meter is exactly equal to 39.37 inches.
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

magnamentis

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1121 on: June 08, 2019, 10:12:19 PM »
And it comes from France - in 1791 after the French Revolution. It's a Socialist Artifact

The “mètre étalon” is a small shelf of marble installed beneath the arcade at 36, rue Vaugirard, right across from the Senate at the Palais du Luxembourg. It’s one of 16 that were installed after, on March 26, 1791, the Académie des Sciences defined the meter for the first time. The only other to survive is at 13, de la Place Vendôme, although unlike the Vaugirard meter it’s been moved from its original location.

The Standard Meter. The French originated the meter in the 1790s as one/ten-millionth of the distance from the equator to the north pole along a meridian through Paris. ... The U. S. Congress legalized the use of the metric system in 1866 on the basis that one meter is exactly equal to 39.37 inches.

i find the fact that 1DM2 = 1 Liter of water quite a nice hint that the metric system makes sense, not even talking about the fact that it's in decimals, easy to understand and easy to learn and convert between mm, cm, dm, m, km, etc. and the equivalents in water, after all water is a major
ingredient (element) on this planet. ( know it's a molecule, the term element is from the old times when fire, earth, water and air were elements)

similar things one can sey from Celsius versus Fahrenheit, Kelvin make sense because it starts at absolute zero and Celsius makes sense because it's again related to natural "elements" like freezing point for sweat water etc.

Fahrenheit, or the old german "Elle" oder the "feet" are so bad measures because if i'm not totally wrong my feet do not have the same size like most others 46, 6-7 depending etc. while my wife's are 36, very much of a difference to use feet as a valid measurement tool LOL (partly kidding)

so the americans, once they are the only ones sticking to old fashioned stuff feel tyrannised ?

i think they are the falling tyrants that tell us with whom we are allowed to do business and a lot more.

sometimes i can't believe anymore that 50 years ago i wanted to join the U.S.-Airforce LOL how naive many were at that time.

EDIT: ohh... sorry here come a few smilies so that it fits the humor thread haha..

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Pmt111500

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1122 on: June 09, 2019, 08:02:17 AM »
If they'd be real with their maga talk they'd do this, instant greater by 0,5% maybe even ~7,28% , they'd introduce new units of lenght, hobbit and dwarf to accomodate their fancy of peculiar names for lenghts.

http://erimaassa.blogspot.com/2017/11/make-us-great-again.html?m=1

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b_lumenkraft

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1123 on: June 09, 2019, 09:34:58 AM »
We could start using 'hand' as a measure. Of course, as a reference, we would use the most powerful hands.

1 meter is 49 hands.

Only slightly more ridiculous than using feet imho.

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gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1125 on: June 10, 2019, 10:38:09 PM »
We could start using 'hand' as a measure. Of course, as a reference, we would use the most powerful hands.

1 meter is 49 hands.

Only slightly more ridiculous than using feet imho.
Sorry Lumen, to enlighten you, you are too late, the measure is already spoken for....

Quote
What is 14 hands on a horse?
One hand is 4 inches So a horse that is 14.2 hands is 14 hands plus 2 inches. The total inches would be 58 inches. A horse could never be said to be 14.5 inches, as the number after the decimal is not a fraction, but represents an entire inch. If a horse is 14.2 1/2 HH, that means he's two and one-half inches over 14 hands.
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

gerontocrat

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1126 on: June 10, 2019, 10:51:07 PM »

i find the fact that 1DM2 = 1 Liter of water quite a nice hint that the metric system makes sense, not even talking about the fact that it's in decimals, easy to understand and easy to learn and convert between mm, cm, dm, m, km, etc. and the equivalents in water, after all water is a major
ingredient (element) on this planet. ( know it's a molecule, the term element is from the old times when fire, earth, water and air were elements)
I once had to re-work an old American proposal for a water project in Bangladesh.

Volumes of water measured in acre-feet. Yes, acre-feet is the common currency for measuring water volume in the US of A.

And a US gallon - not metric, not Imperial
"Para a Causa do Povo a Luta Continua!"
"And that's all I'm going to say about that". Forrest Gump
"Damn, I wanted to see what happened next" (Epitaph)

Grubbegrabben

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1127 on: June 10, 2019, 11:13:43 PM »
I submitted a suggestion that the clock widget on the company intranet should be changed from AM/PM notation to the more common 24-hour format. After all it's only used in 5 countries; the United States, Canada (except Québec), Australia, New Zealand, and the Philippines. Not much response (guess where my employer is based :-).

Niall Dollard

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1128 on: June 11, 2019, 12:04:24 AM »
A guide to Imperial Measurements by Matt Parker.

Is an inch really an inch or is it three barleycorns?

Video is just under 3 minutes and that only covered measurement of length !   ::)




b_lumenkraft

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Re: Arctic Sea Ice Forum Humor
« Reply #1129 on: June 11, 2019, 07:54:12 AM »
Sorry Lumen, to enlighten you, you are too late, the measure is already spoken for....

Silly me, how could i assume it's not a thing already.  ::)