Terry, some points:
Tesla's per-minute pricing (where it is forced by law to price by the minute) is much lower than EVGo and Electrify America, and I believe boils down to less than Tesla's own per-kwh pricing.
If you can do with public transportation, best not buy an EV. But not everyone is a retiree in an urban center. If you're going to buy a car anyway, then paying $40k for a Tesla could be cheaper than paying $30k for an ICE. It all depends on the alternatives and the usage scenario.
Yet even if it costs a littls bit more over 10 years, it's worth it because you would avoid a lot of emissions.
If it costs much more to own the Tesla rather than an ICE, then maybe you are better off investing in solar+battery system instead, avoiding other emissions (and assuming your neighbours aren't irrationally afraid of batteries and will call local politicians to bother you). Or invest the money in other ways that reduce emissions, some of which you listed.
But if you can afford both, I recommend you get both and all of the above.
Of course, use your spare time to lobby the local and national government to get E buses and start a free public service. These solutions are not mutually exclusive, you can have a one child family with shade trees and a greenhouse AND an EV. Unless you are so hitched to Musk's personality and occasional lies and shoddy marketing that you cannot see the EV's advantages over ICE.
I'm not sure if you are aware, but gasoline taxes are supposed to cover the health costs associated with pollution, not the road infrastructure. This is why EVs get a "free ride" - because they spare the old, sick, young, asthmatic and so on. If you're gonna tax by road damage, which I think is a fine idea, you should start by taxing per mile on the odometer rather than by the gallon, and charge heavy trucks 90%-99% of the total tax, as theirs is the most damage to the roads.
I am also not sure if you are aware, but Tesla owners drive their cars in Canada and Norway and other snowy places just fine. Yes, even in winter. Yes, even when snow falls from the sky.