...Our generation championed the concept that management is a nobler profession than labor...
Ah, that reminds me on Golgafrincham's (sorry, couldn't resist
**************************************
"...poets who invented the
spurious tales of impending doom which enabled the people of
Golgafrincham to rid themselves of an entire useless third of
their population. The other two-thirds stayed firmly at home and
lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all suddenly
wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty
telephone.
"
*** It's about the one-third part, only one ship of them actually - the `B' ArkArthur seemed to come out of a trance.
''You mean you've got a hold full of frozen hairdressers?'' he
said.
''Oh yes,'' said the Captain, ''Millions of them. Hairdressers,
tired TV producers, insurance salesmen, personnel officers,
security guards, public relations executives, management
consultants, you name them. We're going to colonize another
planet.''
*** which landed on a blue-green planet:''How can you have money,'' demanded Ford, ''if none of you actually
produces anything? It doesn't grow on trees you know.''
''If you would allow me to continue ...''
Ford nodded dejectedly.
''Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as
legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.''
Ford stared in disbelief at the crowd who were murmuring
appreciatively at this and greedily fingering the wads of leaves
with which their track suits were stuffed.
''But we have also,'' continued the Management Consultant, ''run
into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of
leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going
rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship's
peanut.''
Murmurs of alarm came from the crowd. The Management Consultant
waved them down.
''So in order to obviate this problem,'' he continued, ''and
effectively revaluate the leaf, we are about to embark on a
massive defoliation campaign, and ... er, burn down all the
forests. I think you'll all agree that's a sensible move under
the circumstances.''
The crowd seemed a little uncertain about this for a second or
two until someone pointed out how much this would increase the
value of the leaves in their pockets whereupon they let out
whoops of delight and gave the Management Consultant a standing
ovation. The accountants amongst them looked forward to a
profitable Autumn.
''You're all mad,'' explained Ford Prefect.
''You're absolutely barmy,'' he suggested.
''You're a bunch of raving nutters,'' he opined.
*** a bit alterThe crowd muttered to itself in annoyance. People as rich as they
had suddenly become shouldn't be obliged to listen to this sort
of gibberish. Perhaps they could tip the fellow a leaf or two and
he would go away.
**************************************
It's from "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe", #2 part of Trilogy:
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.